Ep 104: Stop Making Excuses. Not Making Decisions F*ck’s Up Your Life

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

  • The power of decisions and why our brains have difficulty with some of them. 
  • How we try to avoid making a decision, and why it never works.
  • What we really fear when we fear making a decision.
  • Why our attempts at making excuses are only raising the negative cost of not making a decision
  • The solution to the fear of making a decision.

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Human life is filled with nothing but decisions. We make thousands of decisions a day from what we eat to whether to see a doctor about a health concern. Yet,  so many of us make a million excuses to not make a decision about something important in our lives from whether we risk getting cancer to showing up exhausted at work, or in our relationships. 

We believe our brains “stories” which show up as big fat excuses. And the cost of listening to these “stories”  can be devastating. 
We’re constantly trying to control how we look, what other people think, feel, and do, the environment around us, our family, friends, loved ones, and even strangers because we fear the feelings we need to feel around decision making. But as with anything in thought work, we have to dig deeper into our brain to understand what’s going on. 

This week I’m offering you a brand new way to stop making excuses, and decide to love yourself enough to start being a decision making machine so you can create that life that feels balanced and amazing!


Learn more about my corporate coaching course The Rockstar Program. 

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Tag me @sarahlmoody

You got this, rockstar.

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Download Full Episode Transcript

Welcome to Rock Your Brain. Rock your life. The only podcast hosted by a high achieving tech entrepreneur and certified coach that teaches you how to use proven cognitive tools to rewire your brain and break through the second pandemic. Burnout. If you lead a company or badass team and need a proven evidence based cognitive course to retain and develop them. This podcast is for you. Sarah helps humans break through burnout, have insane work life balance, and feel magical at work and in their lives again. Here's your host certified coach and tech industry entrepreneur, Sarah Moody. 

Okay, rock stars. I cannot wait to chat with you this week. So I wanna talk about how we need to stop making excuses around why we can't make a decision because. I'm seeing a lot of humans that are not making decisions and they're completely messing up their life or effing up their life as I like to say. So first of all, this week is the two year anniversary of my podcast. Yes. Oh my God. So exciting. My past self totally hooked me up for this anniversary. And actually what I wanna share with you is she stopped making excuses cuz trust me, the list was long around the number of excuses that my past self had for why I could not do a podcast. I don't know enough. I'm not experienced enough. I don't know technically how to do this. I don't have enough ideas, like lots of excuses. Okay. But my past self made a decision and it was a gift to me today. Right. 

I have this gift of two years of doing the podcast and sharing this content and being of service to you all. And so this tool where I talk about like your future self and really visualizing him or her and that future self could be you tonight. You tomorrow, you next year. You in five years, it's so powerful when you visualize that version of yourself, it's so helpful in terms of making decisions. So remember your primitive puppy brain loves easy street. So that's the part of your brain. That's making excuses. Your CEO brain or your prefrontal cortex, that's the part of your brain that makes decisions that says, listen, stop with the excuses. Let's effing go. All right. That's what we're gonna talk about today. I'm gonna get off of that part of the podcast. And talk about all of you that are writing reviews. Thank you so much. And if you are getting value out of the podcast and you've not written a review, thank you for dropping into apple podcasts, the review section, and writing a review as it totally helps others find these tools. Okay. So as I just mentioned, believing your brain's stories.

Around not making a decision and believing the stories are completely messing with your life. And a lot of you are believing your brain's stories or your brain's bullshit or your brain's drama thought drama. And. I was chatting with one of my colleagues today. And he said the most powerful stories are the ones you tell yourself. And I was like, amen. It's so important to talk to your brain with beliefs that take you in the direction you wanna go in your life because your thoughts will always create your reality in your life. So when you're not, when you're not making decisions and you're listening to your brain's bullshit around excuses. that's one of the things that's completely effing up your life and driving a lot of what I'm seeing in terms of burnout. So I teach that decisions are always a gift to your future self because they move you forward in your life.

And when you make a decision, it's like a sigh in your body. It's like a little opening. and when you stop making decisions, your life is an autopilot. I know that you all know that I love cars. And so I want you to picture a car on the highway, driving down the highway at like 80 miles an hour. There's no hands on the steering wheel. So the car is carrying fast all over the highway, it's swerving from left to right. And right to left. And it's like bumping into cars and, and it's like, then swerving left again. And there's a high likelihood the car's gonna end up in a ditch. Right. So when you're making a bunch of excuses and not making decisions, it's like your life's an autopilot. It's like that car careening all over the highway, instead of I know where I'm driving 10 miles to the next town, and I know where I'm headed and I'm gonna make decisions along the way, around my speed, around what lanes I'm in around, whether I get off the highway or not to take a break, like I'm making decisions to get me to that next spot that I'm going to in my life. So today I wanna talk about. When you don't make decisions, how much that completely Fs up all parts of your life. So, and this can be around, you know, work, personal, relationships, all the, all money, all the parts of your life. Okay. So I was chatting with a client a couple weeks ago and they have a very high stress job. And over the past two years, they felt like they've lost a lot of their personal life. They're not exercising. They really need balance. Again, they were feeling really stuck. Like I just can't even make a decision to leave the office to go and get some exercise. So whether it's like you're at work and you're trying to build balance in your life or. I have another client of mine who has some medical issues. They've got the genetic mutation for breast cancer and their brain is constantly telling them like, I don't know, what's the best answer. I don't know if I have enough money to be able to afford to do this. I don't know what the right decision is. I worry that what I'll do today will impact my future. So when we get lost in those, like, I can't make a decision guess what happens? What feeling do you have when you're like, I don't know. What's best to do around. 

You know, this genetic mutation that I have, or I don't know how to leave work to go exercise. You start feeling self doubt, right? You start feeling anxiety, you start worrying. And then what happens? Let me guess I'm gonna tell you what's happening with some of my clients. There's a lot of insomnia going on. A lot of waking up in the middle of the night. Number two, over drinking. Lots of over drinking, so buffering from making a decision. Okay. And so whether you're overeating over drinking, you know, showing up at work, just super stressed and super anxious because this stuff weighs on you. Right. When you can't make a decision when you're listening to your brain's bullshit, that's making an excuse because half of your brain lives on easy street. As I've mentioned, that's the primitive part of your brain, the primitive puppy. He's making excuses about putting balance back into your life and exercising about medical decisions. You need to make about relationships about even such, even something like. Putting balance back into your life and going and just deciding to go traveling. Like a lot of people are having a really difficult time getting out of this place of, you know, I've been on autopilot in COVID in this little like hamster wheel, and I don't know how to make a decision and kind of bring myself back to some semblance of pre COVID life. And what happens? This is what I'm, this is what I'm noticing. When you start feeling a lot of worry and self doubt and anxiety at work, because you can't make a decision or personally, because you can't make a decision medically, for example, that self-doubt starts bleeding into other parts of your life. So it starts bleeding into your relationship it, and then when it bleeds into other parts of your life, that's when a lot of the joy.

And excitement and desire and curiosity that you have gets stuck right out of you. Like a big fat vacuum cleaner is just sucking all that shit outta you, because you are so weighted down with worry and self doubt and anxiety. So where are you noticing that you keep worrying and wondering like what to. is it about work and whether you need to make a decision to stay on your team, you know, even though your boss can be super challenging, is it a decision around your health? Is it a decision around your romantic relationships or your friendships? is it a decision around like, just honoring that desire of yours to go. Stay curious and go travel and go explore new things. So where is your brain making a bunch of excuses, which are just thoughts that are creating all of that self doubt? Where are you not making a decision that is effing up your life? Right? That is creating burnout at work that could potentially, you know, in the case of one of my students. That could lead to cancer down the road. Like where are you not loving yourself enough to make an effing decision? That's the question to ask yourself, right? Where are you not loving yourself enough to make a decision? And when you do notice those parts of your life, where you're not loving yourself enough to make a decision. I wanna offer to you that there is one easy thing for you to do. And first I'm gonna start with the obstacles that you need to be aware of. Your brain is gonna tell. So anticipate these obstacles because this is what's gonna happen.

Okay? Number one, your brain is gonna tell you, I don't know. I don't know what the answer is. I'm confused. This sucks. I hate this. I don't know. This is all resistance. I just want you to guess, make a guess that if you loved yourself enough, what would the right decision to be? Like? What would the right decision be for you around making a big medical decision? What would the right decision if you loved yourself enough B around whether you stay on that team at work or not? And then I want you to close. So just know your brain's gonna, your brain's gonna have a lot of excuses.

Okay. And those excuses are what is stopping you from making a decision and is stopping you? It is, taking you down a path of like, life feels kind of effed up in parts of your life. And then I want you to close your eyes and just drop into your body and identify. The feeling that's coming up when you think about making that decision. So maybe there's some anxiety and so where is it in your body? For me, anxiety's in my chest and it feels really heavy. And so just love that feeling of anxiety. And how do you wanna feel, do you wanna feel abundant and resourced? So where is that in your. So close your eyes and visualize feeling resourced and abundant and wise enough. And from that feeling state love yourself enough to make a decision. Remind yourself. I always do my best with what I know at that time. That's that feeling of enoughness. So anticipate the obstacles. Number one. And then number two, I just want you to write down how many decisions you make a day for seven days in a row. Just put it in your calendar. That you're gonna just spend a couple minutes for seven days in a row, writing down how many decisions you make. And this is like what you decided to eat for breakfast. What you decided to wear, just train your brain. For high and low stakes decisions to go find all of them that you make every single day. You make thousands of decisions a day. And also too, you could make a decision to not take action, but to relook at making that decision on X, even that is making a decision. So for example, my client who had the big me like medical decision to make, they said, you know what?

I'm gonna make a decision in seven days. And they wrote down why they were waiting seven days and they liked their reasons and they were not gonna trash talk themselves. So I want you to practice loving yourself enough to make an effing decision, loving enough to move your life forward in the direction you wanna go. To not leave your life. Like it's an autopilot like that car careening down the highway, swerving from left to right. Not going forward. Right. Stop making. Stop listening to your brain's excuses. Stop listening to those stories. Stop listening to that talk track, you know, enough, you are enough, your pure effing magic. Right now, there is nothing you need to do. There's nothing you need to go learn. There's nothing you need to go study. There's no person you need to go ask, drop in, feel that feeling of, of fullness and enoughness and trust yourself and just go make an effing decision. Okay. All right. I love you so much and I'll talk to you next week. 

If you're loving what you're learning in the podcast, you have to come and check out the rockstar program. It's my coaching program, where we take these neuroscience based cognitive tools and we use them daily to break through burnout so you can fall passionately in love with your life and your career again. So join me over at Sarah moody.com/rockstar program. I would love to have you join me. You can also follow me at Sarah L moody on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram. I can't wait to see you.


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