Ep 111: Uncertainty is a Feeling. Learning to Tolerate it Changes Everything.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
It's time for another "greatest hits" podcast that will teach you how to hang out in the mystery of uncertainty.
We’ll discuss how uncertainty is a feeling, felt in our nervous system - sweaty palms, dry mouth, etc.
Then we’ll dive into how to process uncertainty just like any other emotion.
Use this link to access an incredibly useful list of emotions to help identify what exactly it is you’re feeling. Seriously, I have this list printed and laminated on my desk!
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Welcome to Rock Your Brain. Rock Your Life, The only podcast hosted by a high achieving tech, entrepreneur and certified coach that teaches you how to use proven cognitive tools to rewire your brain and break through the second pandemic. Burnout if you lead a company or badass team and need a proven, evidence based cognitive course to retain and develop them, this podcast is for you.
Sarah helps humans break through burnout, have insane work life balance, and feel magical at work and in their lives. Again, here's your host, certified coach and tech industry entrepreneur, Sarah Moody.
Hey rockstars how y'all doing this week. So we are going to talk about how uncertainty is a feeling and how learning to tolerate that feeling changes everything in your life. So last week, we talked about the skill of feeling your feelings and letting them vibrate and process through your body. And uncertainty is just another feeling that you just need to tolerate and learn how to process through your body.
And specifically, when we process feelings, we process them through our nervous system and our nervous system coordinates like how our muscles and our organs and all the data that's coming into our brain, how it all works together. So when you feel uncertainty, it may show up in your nervous system where your pupils get larger. Maybe your hands, sweat. They do for me when I feel uncertain, by the way, maybe it feels a little hard to breathe. Maybe you've got a dry mouth, maybe your heart's racing. So when you notice these things happening in your body, just know that it's your nervous system.
That's giving you these clues of like your hands sweating, because you're feeling some uncertainty say, for example, about your relationship. So this is why it's so important that we understand, like identify a name or feelings, like the feeling of uncertainty. And, you know, I know most of us don't really even know what we're feeling most of the time, but it's a skill and you can learn how to practice the skill.
And by the way, the feelings list will be in the show notes. So what I want you to be aware of around uncertainty is there may be feelings below the level of feeling uncertain. And those feelings could look like fear. So for example, maybe you feel uncertain about your role at work, and so you feel some fear or scared or anger or self doubt or stressed out.
So just notice that when you get to a more granular level of feelings. And definitely go to the feelings list cause this will help you. It could be your clue that you're concerned about uncertainty kind of feeling uncertain in your life, in a different part of your life, whether it's work your career, your relationship, you name it.
Well, as we said last week, you know, uncertainties of fact, like it's everywhere. It's never going away. Nothing's certain other than we're going to die. Okay. So. Feelings like uncertain are just energy in your body. Okay. And so when you feel them, they're going to kind of just be energy that vibrates your body.
And maybe when you first feel fear, for example, for me, my hands, sweat, maybe for you, you notice that your heart races, right? So that's just your nervous system kind of processing that feeling. And that's really important is that you allow your nervous system just to process that energy of feeling scared or fear or anger, and that you don't avoid kind of processing that feeling through your nervous system.
When we don't process the feeling, what we end up doing. When things feel uncertain is we end up like overworking so we can feel certain about our career and work. We end up like controlling a romantic partner. If we fear or feeling uncertain, we fear that they may end the relationship.
We end up like using food or booze, just general buffering in our life. And it's okay that you're wanting to not feel uncertain about things because our brains are wired for safety and security to feel certain, to feel safe, to feel secure. So what you're probably noticing is that you want to feel safe and secure and certain of course, and.
If you think, or, you know, some of you may have heard of like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you know, which is at the bottom it's we as humans need food, water, rest, warmth, safety, and security. So the bottom tier of needs that we need are to feel secure and to feel safe. How fascinating is that? So in a world where everything is uncertain, And we're dying to feel like safety, security, and certain, of course it makes sense that you're like at times freaking the fuck out about things that feel uncertain because it's how your brain is wired.
It's kind of what you need at the bottom tier of basic psychological needs. We want to feel safe and secure in our relationships with our friends and family in our romantic relationship. In our role at work, we want to feel safe and secure with the money that we have. We want to feel safe and secure in our home.
It's how we're wired. And so I want you to think about like, what does safety feel like in your body? As a feeling, what does security feel like in your body? What does uncertainty feel like in your body? What does fear scared, anger? Some of the more granular levels of uncertainty feel like in your body?
You know, I, I love this idea of taking a feeling whether it's uncertainty or I've identified a more granular feeling like fear and turning it into an object. For me, fear is like this gigantic gray rock and it's really heavy and it's really cold and it kind of sits in my chest and it feels hard to breathe when I feel.
But when I process that fear, that I'm feeling around how things feel uncertain, it helps me come back to this place. Of course, I feel uncertain. Like everything's uncertain. The goal is to be able to return to your CEO brain, even when things are uncertain and to come up with like, what is that belief that you have so tolerate the feeling of uncertainty, but then come back to your CEO brain.
And for me, my belief is I am certain, I will love myself unconditionally and show up for myself, my goals and my dreams daily. I feel certain about that. And that is a belief that I hold dearly every single day in my life. In this world where nothing is certain, everything is uncertain learning to tolerate that feeling as it's just going through your nervous system, right.
Maybe it shows up. As you know, hand sweating hard to breathe, dry mouth, heart racing, but just let it vibrate through. Right. It's just going to take 90 seconds, two minutes. And once you learn how to tolerate it, you can come back to a sense of peace and understand kind of be curious, like, okay.
I'm feeling uncertainty in my career. What's going on here? Huh. And feeling some self doubt that I can get this big project done over the next month. So just notice what's going on. That's creating the feeling of uncertain. And it's probably something a little more granular, like fear, scared, anger self-doubt stressed.
So next week we are going to flip the script on uncertainty being a bad thing. How excited are you guys for that? I know right now you think uncertainty is a bad thing, but hopefully just by learning how to process the feeling of uncertainty. However it shows up fear, scared, anger, self doubt, stressed, and knowing that you're always going to have it in your life and then deciding what you want to believe in terms of how you're going to show up, regardless of uncertainty, like I just shared with you the game changer.
Y'all all right. Have a beautiful rest of your week and we will talk to you next week. All right. Bye.
I am so excited to let you know that we have a new workshop coming up on March 2nd at 9:00 AM. Pacific. Sign up for 90 minutes of live coaching and teaching on how to deal with uncertainty in your life. I know it's year three of a global pandemic, maybe there's been a reorg at work, maybe you're having some difficulties in a relationship.
There's lots of uncertainty I know that in your life. And I want to teach you a couple of simple tools to help you deal with uncertainty. So head to sarahmoody.com at the top of my website, you will see the link to register for that. How to Face Uncertainty: Like a Boss workshop on March 2nd. I cannot wait to see you on zoom.
If you're loving what you're learning in the podcast, you have to come and check out the Rockstar Program. It's my coaching program where we take these neuroscience based cognitive tools and we use them daily to break through burnout so you can fall passionately in love with your life and your career again.
So join me over at SarahMoody.com/rockstarprogram I would love to have you join me. You can also follow me @sarahlmoody on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram. I can't wait to see you.
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