Ep 117: Belief in yourself is a decision you must keep making
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
This week I was in Arizona with my coach, Brooke Castillo and a room full of other life coaches; it was an amazing time and it brought up some things I hadnʻt examined in my own life by asking one question: Do you think youʻre extraordinary?
To answer this question, I looked back on how I have spent the last few years changing myself from the inside out and I know creating that change has required one thing: belief in myself.
In this podcast, I explore the process and obstacles we all face when we desire change, and I teach you the steps you need to take every day to cultivate belief in yourself.
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You got this, rockstar.
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Welcome to Rock Your Brain. Rock Your Life. The only podcast hosted by a high achieving tech entrepreneur and certified coach that teaches you how to use proven cognitive tools to rewire your brain and break through the second pandemic, burnout. If you lead a company or badass team and need a proven, evidence based cognitive course to retain and develop them, this podcast is for you.
Sarah helps humans break through burnout, have insane work life balance, and feel magical at work and in their lives again. Here's your host, certified coach and tech industry entrepreneur, Sarah Moody
Hey, Rockstar, I am coming to you from Phoenix, Arizona. I'm here for the weekend with my coach, Master Certified badass coach, Brooke Castillo and other coaches, from the Life Coach School, and we're having an incredible three day weekend of learning and getting coached and growing as humans. You know me.
I love being with all my growth mindset humans. I love changing who I am every day. I'm completely different after one day of being with these humans than I was the day before. So it's so amazing to be here with my community, to feel so connected, to feel so alive.
And Brooke's theme for the three day weekend is you have one life, choose to be extraordinary.
And so she had all of us ask ourselves if we think we're extraordinary, and she asked “do you even tell yourselves that you're extraordinary?”
And it reminded me of when I was at her house last spring where there were six of us in her penthouse in Austin, and she said, “how many of you tell yourself that you love yourself?”
We all looked around the room at her like she was totally crazy because none of us did. I tell my partner I love him or her, and I tell my kids, but not myself. And so I came home and I put, ʻI love youʻ on my bathroom mirror. And now I tell myself most days how much I love myself and I feel it in my body, which is most important with thought work, that you feel it in your body.
Why do I encourage you to really feel loving yourself?
Because when you do, it's so much easier to honor and identify your desires. First, identify your desires, and honor them. And honor your dreams, and honor yourself. And you know, I've never really told myself that I think I'm extraordinary. I do think I'm amazing, but I've never thought of myself as extraordinary.
But when I said it today, it felt like, "yeah, this feels legit. I do feel extraordinary, and I'm going to start telling myself and coaching myself every day that I'm extraordinary. I'm amazing, I'm extraordinary."
And what helps me with this belief is I did not create me. You did not create you. You are created by whatever you believe in, whether it's God with a little G, God with a big G, the divine, your higher power, spirit, whatever.
So when you know that you didn't create you, it feels believable that you're extraordinary. Right? Like for me, knowing that I didn't create me, knowing that the divine created me, it feels very believable that I'm extraordinary, and that I was given all these gifts to bring to the world, to bring to all the humans, and now my practice is building the skill to make them a reality, to bring them into life.
So you didn't create you and you're extraordinary and you've been given all these gifts and you have all these secret desires. I know so many of you have these secret desires cuz I used to have secret desires around what I wanted for my life, like to make a lot of money and to finally wake up every day and feel calm versus anxious.
Now the practice is to bring those desires into reality. Bring them into your life. And so I want you to put your hand on your heart, right now, and just say out loud to yourself, "I'm extraordinary." How does that feel in your body when you say that? Does it feel a little weird? And that's okay. Does it feel believable? Does it feel anything?
And then I want you to do it again and close your eyes this time and do it again, "I'm extraordinary".
And this is actually a decision, to believe this about yourself every day. This is actually a decision to decide what to think on purpose every day. What sentence do you want to put into your brain to believe?
Do you want to put that sentence of “I'm extraordinary'' into your brain? I know I do. And just be forewarned, your brain is going to come up with all these excuses, like “that other person's extraordinary. Sarah's extraordinary. But I'm not extraordinary because of my past trauma and because I screwed up at my last career and because my dad hates me and all the things.”
But what I'm going to offer to you today is truly believing that feeling and knowing you're extraordinary is a decision around what you want to believe about yourself.
Every belief in your brain is just a sentence. Every thought in your brain is just a sentence. So what sentence do you want to put in your brain that serves you?
When I put my hand in my heart and I say out loud, “I'm extraordinary”, I feel this kind of warmth, and aliveness, and fulfillment, and all of who I am.
So as a coach, if you've been following me for a while, you know that I teach that everything in life is a decision. Everything from what you put on in terms of your clothes this morning, to what you eat, to what you decide to believe.
And if you want to listen and go a little deeper in one of my podcasts about decisions, go to Podcast 104.
So today I want to talk about how belief in yourself is a decision you must keep making over and over again. You must continually keep making the decision to believe in yourself .
Now, we make thousands of decisions a day. I just mentioned a decision of what you decided to wear today, a decision around what you're going to eat, a decision around how you respond to a text or an email or a voicemail that came your way. Everything is a decision.
So for me, for example, it was a decision to register for this event in Arizona. That's a decision. It was a decision to book a flight, a decision to book the hotel, a decision to invite other friends, a decision to attend, a decision to show up at the event this morning feeling curious. That's a decision! I showed up this morning at this event, feeling curious and open. What do I have to learn?
Everything is a decision, and even when you don't make a decision, that is also a decision. So the only way to move your life forward is by making a decision, whether it's a decision to date and find love, a decision to write a book or not a decision to change careers, a decision when you want to talk to your partner about moving states to be closer to your family. Everything is a decision.
And so many of us think that making a decision is hard, and here's the only reason why decisions are hard in your brain: because when you make a decision, a lot of shitty hard feelings start coming up. The fear, the self-doubt.
For example, maybe you want to talk to your partner about moving states to be closer to the family. That feeling of fear is going to come up, that your partner may say no, right? Maybe when you decide to write a book, fear comes up that people will judge your book and you don't want to be judged by others.
A huge theme that I've heard today is that so many other humans are so afraid of being judged by other humans. And what if they judge you? What if that's just a part of being a human? Right now there are so many people that are judging me and don't like me, and that's okay.
Maybe if you want to change careers, you have a fear that you won't have the skills to crush the new career, the doubt that you're going to find true love.
So just notice when you make a decision, that a lot of hard feelings will start coming up, and you've got to just put them in the passenger seat of your car. I love visualizing fear sitting right next to me in the passenger seat of my Tesla, and just loving fear and going.
And so all the feelings that come up, the self-doubt, the fear, all the things are the only reasons why decisions feel hard. Making a decision is easy.
And here's what happens when you don't make a decision. You keep yourself stuck and feeling unhappy, feeling self-doubt and not honoring your dreams, your desires, your longings for romantic love, for changing your career, for being closer to your family, all those desires, and then you're unhappy, right? I know so many of you are not making a decision because you fear other people judging you, of not getting it right, of not being perfect.
But all you're doing when you're not making a decision is making yourself unhappy. So, do you want to make yourself unhappy or are you going to just allow other people to be unhappy because they are judging you?
So belief is a state of mind. Let's go deep in terms of belief being a decision you must keep making. You must keep deciding to believe in yourself.
So belief in yourself is a state of mind. And the light bulb moment I had today was that belief in yourself is a decision you must keep making. I'm going to repeat this- belief in yourself is a decision you must keep making every single day. How does that feel as you take that into your body? How does that land with you?
Do you feel curious? Do you feel open? Are you like, “no way, Sarah, that doesn't make any sense”? That's what I want to offer to you today- and for those of you that have been following me now for the last couple years, you know that I coach myself and I change the beliefs in how I show up and how I feel about my life.
All from the inside of me, all from the inside of my brain and my body. And I've been doing it for the last couple years, all this inner work of feeling my feelings and shifting belief in myself and deciding to become a coach and having the belief to start this podcast and having the belief in myself to pursue and bring an amazing romantic partner into my life a few months ago, and building the belief in myself to build a life that I love.
I love my life. I didn't feel that way a couple years ago. And I practice the belief in myself to help hundreds of my clients identify their desires for their life, whether it's changing a new career or losing weight, or starting a podcast, or just deciding to feel happy in their life. I think about all the ways that I've been able to help hundreds of clients change their belief in themselves.
I actually just got an email from one of my clients, and he was a big executive in the tech industry and he worked his entire career in tech and he was in his mid- fifties and he went through The Rockstar program, graduated at the beginning of the year, and wanted to leave tech and go off and be an airline pilot.
He just sent me an email a week ago saying, "Sarah, I just passed my FAA certification. I'm a pilot" and just going on and on about his gratitude for using these tools to shift belief in himself. I'm going to go a little bit more into detail next week on the before and after with this client of mine but just know that belief in yourself is a decision you must keep making. Doing it from the inside and feeling it and believing it is how you change your entire life.
And I noticed being with my coach that my brain had a "story" over the last couple years that I've done enough belief work on myself, I've created all these new realities, the romantic partner, the podcast, written the book, all the things right in my brain.
I had a story that I've built up enough confidence and belief in myself and I was like, "you know what? I've got this bank of belief and confidence. I've practiced the skill. It's all in the bank; now I'm just going to use it on all parts of my life." And what was fascinating about what I learned today was- and I've known this for a while- that I've definitely got some fear of fully showing up in my coaching business because I have some fear about not "getting it right."
And I've really been focused on the outward, “How am I going to evolve my coaching business?” And what I realized recently is that I need to go inward and feel the fear, feel scared. That's never going to go away. I'm never going to get rid of fear, right? Like I just mentioned, I'm going to put fear in the passenger seat.
You will never get rid of feeling scared. Ever. Never. And when you want to make a decision, guess what? You make a decision and what immediately comes up? Fear, self-doubt, scared, all the things; and they're never going to go away after you make a decision. And so feeling the discomfort of the feelings of scared, self-doubt, that's what creates confidence.
When we feel our feelings, sad, loss, scared, self- confidence, and we practice that skill, that's how we create confidence. And when you let fear and self-doubt run unmanaged around in your body, you stop yourself from believing in yourself. You stop yourself from honoring your desires and your longings and your goals and your dreams.
So every day you have to make a decision around what you want to think on purpose, what you want to believe about yourself, what you want to believe about your desires. And you're going to make a decision you'll want to believe, you're going to make a decision around what you want to do, and fear and doubt are going to come rushing up.
And then I want you to tell your brain, "Oh, hey, there's fear and doubt", right? And when you don't honor that longing and those desires, you're going to live your life unhappy.
So every day you have to go back to making a decision to believe in yourself and your desires. Every day, decide what to think on purpose.
So every day I'm going to be coaching myself and saying, I believe in your desire to be a coach who's of massive service to the high achievers who want to feel calm, confident, feel ease and love in their lives, who want to honor their secret dreams and desires.
And what I want to encourage you to start doing today right now is telling your brain, "I believe in myself. I believe in my desires. I know that my desires are the blueprint for my life and why I'm here on this earth." And I encourage you to cultivate belief in yourself daily.
When you tell yourself every day, "I believe in you, I got you," when you decide to put that sentence in your brain, that's how you cultivate belief in yourself every day.
So I want you to coach yourself daily, visualize yourself sitting on the couch saying to yourself, I believe in myself and my desire to change careers or find love belonging with my amazing romantic partner, or, I believe in my desire to write that book, I believe in my desire to just love my life; those are all sentences that you can choose to think on purpose, to keep believing in yourself every day.
And remember, when you see fear, just say, "Hey, fear, I see you. I see you sitting right next to me on the couch and I love you and I'm going to do this anyway."
So practice making the decision every day to believe in yourself, believe in your desires, and just keep cultivating that belief.
All right. Have a beautiful rest of your day and week and I'll talk to you next week. And if you're listening to this on the American Thanksgiving holiday, Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm so grateful for all of you and I love you, and I'll talk to you next week. Okay, bye.
If you're loving what you're learning in the podcast, you have to come and check out the Rockstar Program. It's my coaching program where we take these neuroscience based cognitive tools and we use them daily to break through burnout so you can fall passionately in love with your life and your career again.
So join me over at SarahMoody.com/rockstarprogram I would love to have you join me. You can also follow me @sarahlmoody on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram. I can't wait to see you.
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