Ep 123: Best Year Yet with Adelle Bethel

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:

  • What my clientʻs “rock bottom” looked like
  • The fears that were holding her back and preventing her from making changes at work
  • The results of our work together and how she had her “best year yet”

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 In this episode my client Adelle was gracious enough to join me on the podcast to give you all a candid, first-hand account of her journey from surviving to thriving. Youʻll hear about her life before The Rockstar Program, details on why she chose coaching instead of therapy, the impact her work had on her personal life, the results of our work together, and how sheʻs doing now.

Rockstars, this is THE episode to listen to if youʻre thinking about making 2023 the year you no longer struggle with burnout. If youʻre tired of choosing between your career and your family, if you donʻt believe you can be successful while working less, if youʻre at the end of your rope and feeling exhausted from trying to keep all the balls in the air, this one is for you. 

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Welcome to Rock Your Brain. Rock Your Life. The only podcast hosted by a high achieving tech entrepreneur and certified coach that teaches you how to use proven cognitive tools to rewire your brain and break through the second pandemic, burnout. If you lead a company or badass team and need a proven, evidence based cognitive course to retain and develop them, this podcast is for you.

Sarah helps humans break through burnout, have insane work life balance, and feel magical at work and in their lives again. Here's your host, certified coach and tech industry entrepreneur, Sarah Moody. 

Sarah: Adele. Oh my God. Welcome to the podcast! I am so excited. That we're gonna do this thing today. Okay. For our amazing listeners, I just have to share this story with you.

Adele came to me at the start of this year and we wrapped up coaching a couple months ago, and she sent me this email and the title of the email was Best Year Yet, and I was like, all right, girl, let's hop on the podcast and let's share with all of our listeners about this best year yet.

Here we are. All right, girl. Tell our listeners a little bit about yourself, you have to tell them where you live. 

Adele: Okay. Yes, so I am a almost 40 mother of two young children, wife to my husband who is actually Bahamian. And so we live here in The Bahamas. I am a. Type, a career woman in the world of tech, the world of media, advertising and, have lived several places in the United States and now we're in The Bahamas and been with my current company for the last 10 years.

Sarah: Amazing. And for you listeners, I'm gonna give you a little sneak peek into how we work in the Rockstar Program. So we coach each week, we start off every coaching session with how are you feeling? And that's always an opportunity to drop in and just connect with yourself.

So Adele, how are you feeling? 

Adele: I am feeling, I'm feeling very grateful and thankful to you, Sarah Moody for being my coach this year. You know, I just am being extremely reflective because this same time last year, December, right before Christmas, I had contacted you and I really had hit rock bottom, emotionally, physically and I needed something, that's really outside therapy, which I had done for years. and so, you know, now after, being with you for the past year, it just, it feels so good to see where I'm at now in comparison to last year. 

Sarah: Amazing. Tell our listeners a little bit about life before coaching.

And you could even just name a couple challenges that you were facing, you know, around work, around your relationships. Yeah. 

Adele: Yeah, I mean, I think that I was on a hamster wheel. I was extremely burnt out. Trying to juggle, trying to juggle being a mom with the young kids during covid o and you know, I just really was struggling with the amount of hours that I was putting into my job.

And then from a relationship standpoint, you know, I think what I was doing in my career was sort of bleeding into my relationships. And so, the amount of time I was on the road traveling, a lot of what I do for work requires travel, to the key markets that I maintain so yeah, you know, life before coaching, was manic and, you know, I had a lot of struggles, across the board. 

Sarah: Okay. Were you exercising? 

Adele: I was really not doing great with my health. I would exercise here and there, and I wasn't prioritizing myself. 

Sarah: As women we are not taught to prioritize ourselves humans, we are taught to prioritize our kids, our husband, the other humans, not ourselves. Yeah, So, Tell our listeners how, how, how we met. I love this story. This is

Adele: such a great story.

I love this story. So I'm in Austin, Texas, one of my, one of my big markets. And just wrapping up, you know, Kline Entertainment for the year, Christmas is literally in a couple days and like I said, I was really really at rock bottom, and it's hard to describe, but, you know, I had had some life events happen and, you know, I think everything kind of added up and, the burnout took over. I contacted one of my college friends, she was living in Silicon Valley at the time, and you know, I described to her what was going on and she said, listen.

You need to contact Sarah Moody. I said, who's ceremony ? She said, she focuses a lot on coaching versus therapy. 

Sarah: Exactly. I am not a therapist. 

Adele: I said, I said, okay, so what's coaching? You know tell me a little bit about that and you know. 

Sarah: What is coaching? That's a great question. What is it? 

Adele: So, you know, coaching is working on today and the future you, and that was honestly mind blowing for me because I can't tell you how many years I spent in the therapist chair just unraveling things that had happened for my past in a lot of tears, but never anything that was fruitful for me to move forward. So it was always like, woe is me. All these things happened to me in my, in my past. And I allowed myself to kind of feel sorry for myself, you know? And so coaching was just really refreshing and something I was excited about. I love the idea of really focusing on what's happening today and how can I progress towards the future?

So my friend contacted me and you know, she said, listen, you need to sign up for the Rockstar Program. We meet on Mondays. It's women in tech and women in the media industry. And then following that meeting, we would have a one-on-one session with Sarah. And so I said, sign me.

I need it. Like, I don't even care how much it costs. Like, sign me up. We would then meet for our first session several weeks later. I think it was two weeks later.

Sarah: Tell our listeners what, what it was like working with me. 

Adele: Okay, so Sarah is going to Give it to you straight, give it to you real, you, you know, we would start the sessions and you would ask three questions.

How are you feeling? Let's talk about what you accomplished last week, and let's talk about what your goals are for the, for the following. You know, that, that current week. And I love, I love that, you know, If I tend to digress and sort of bring up the past you're honest and you really just kind of Redirect the conversation to be positive and focus on what you can control in the future.

Youʻre a breath of fresh air and the positivity is just, you know, it takes over. And I love that. 

Sarah: So great. Yeah. You know, your beliefs listeners, your thoughts in your brain will always create your realities. If you've got a bunch of negative bullshit going on in there, you're just gonna create a lot of negative reality in your life.

So tell our listeners what's life like now? What tangible changes have happened in your life outside and then what internal changes have happened inside and talk about work, you know, the kids, all the things. 

Adele: Yeah. So I would say, some positive outcomes that came out of this year, my relationship with my husband is so much better because of the mind and brain work that we focused on. And so a lot of what I learned was that, you know, you can kind of live in this hamster wheel of negative thoughts and we can control that, right? And so, I started to say no, remove that negative thought and put it in the past, and I think that really affected my relationship with my husband and my kids in such a positive way. 

And so I think that's a tangible, you know, element from this past year.

I wanted to have the confidence to have the conversation with my company about the amount of travel I was doing. And so that was really, you know, something that I, uh, it was hard for me, but I had contacted my company and said, listen, for q4, I'm really not gonna travel.

I'm gonna stay back, focus on my health. I was having a little bit of back troubles and, and such. And so because of that, I was able to really enjoy all of the holidays of this season and so that's been super positive. 

And then finally, you know, making hard decisions. I think in the past I would've, kind of been a little bit scared and not had the confidence to lean in and make those hard decisions in life across the board.

And one of 'em was to kind of take a leap with, uh, a, a new school that was opening here in The Bahamas and you know, the decision to take the kids out of what they know and put 'em into something new and trusting your gut. My gut said this is gonna be a great opportunity. Mm-hmm. And and I made, you know, made that hard decision.

It's been the best decision for my kids. They're the happiest they've ever been. 

Sarah: Hmm. That's amazing. What your eight year-old daughter said when you were in miami. I love that story you shared earlier. 

Adele: Yeah, so last week we did our annual mother daughter trip and we were in Miami, just walking to a museum and she looked at me and she said she, mommy, can I tell you something ?

She said, can I just tell you this has been the best year of my life and, I started crying honestly, and just got chills all over my body. She said I was a little bit worried about the new school and, you know, even the holidays, typically the holidays are really stressful in our family. And she said, everything has just been so great and I'm so happy.

And that's just what you wanna hear, you know, especially after the, the past several years, it's been tough on the kids with Covid at their age and you know, they have really, that's just like a pure example where making those hard decisions that you're scared of- asking for time with your family from, you know, a, a job that's really challenging and ask for a lot maybe and making decisions that are just hard in general from a personal perspective, because you feel you know, maybe my family is gonna judge me for making these decisions. And so, you know, I've gained so much confidence in knowing to trust my gut, uh, and that it'll all work out. 

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

Sarah: As you were sharing that story about you and your daughter, like I was also getting chills as well.

Like, that's just like the biggest gift as a mom and, and And kudos to you for exactly having that difficult conversation with your team at work and, and asking for what you want, like honoring that desire, right? Honoring that little voice, that gut. And then how's the year at work been? And are you working more or less a year? 

I am working less, I, I'm working less. I asked to really, you know, have the flexibility to be with my kids more if that means, you know, finishing off at three o'clock to do pickups and all the things after school. And like I said, I've gotten approval to scale back on travel, which was, you know, so scary in the end, I think I was most scared, you know, that the result would be less business coming in. And, and the opposite happened, closed one of the largest deals of my career 

Girl! As you took a break. By the way, listeners, we are all about the big Ws. You have to celebrate the wins.

Adele: Oh yeah, we definitely we, we popped some champagne. Yes. Love it. Good. We had a good meal. 

Sarah: Congratulations. Biggest deal of your career and you're working less. 

Adele: It's crazy, you know I think. I think especially women in tech, we have this mindset that we have to overcompensate and be the first ones to raise our hand to travel and be the first ones and last ones working, you know?

Yeah. All of the hours and it's just not true. 

Sarah: Exactly. So here you are, you work less, you are more successful. Work is easier and fun. And that's a big thing of what we, of what I teach as a coach and exactly. Breaking up with that limiting belief of like, well, if I'm a high achiever, that means I need to travel, I need to go to all the meetings and do all the things.

And what you've done is proven that you can, you know, not travel, like, not do all the things and deliver more value to the company and to the business at the same time. And be for your kids at pickup. 

Adele: Exactly. Yeah. You know, so I think. I, I think you nailed it. It's it, for me, it's these, you know, sort of limiting beliefs and breaking up with that.

I don't allow myself to have that negative talk anymore. Mm-hmm. . I just don't, you know I, I've learned that a lot of, a lot of what I was doing was, really living in that negative head space, And the thought work that we've done together over this past year proves that we can, we can make changes to how our brain functions Yeah.

And the results that are part of that. And so, you know, and that really trickles into. Every aspect of your life. 

Sarah: Yeah. What three feelings would you say you were living with other than like, you know, o I remember overwhelm and stress were like a year ago. What three feelings were you living with then, and what three main feelings are you living with now?

Adele: So, anxiety. Okay. Overwhelmed and stressed. 

Sarah: Okay. And now 12 months later on the internal side? 

Adele: I mean, and I could say this for myself, but I've had so many friends and family comment on this as well. I feel happy, very calm and confident. 

Sarah: Amazing. And you've had your family and friends say, wow, you've changed.

Adele: Yeah. I've heard it from everyone and one of my friends said "you're the only one that can bring sunshine into your life." And she said, "something you did this year has brought that sunshine." And I fully agree with that. It's, it's taking the time to work on yourself and, you know, maybe it was a little bit of an investment financially in myself in working with a coach, just thinking about how it multiplied all of the positive results over the past year...

Sarah: With the kids, with your husband, with work, and how you feel about yourself.

Adele: Right. 

 Yeah. 

Sarah: What was so amazing is you showed up and you're like, let's go Sarah, let's go. Right? You were like all in and months later you've completely changed your experience. 

Adele: Yeah, and I think, you have to go into it with an open mind and an open heart.

And you have to do the work, you know? You really do have to do the work, but it's not hard and some of what I've learned too is taking that time in the morning to just kind of sit with my thoughts, ask myself how I'm feeling, write it out. I still do that. It's sort of a form of meditation.

Hmm. And one of the things you, you taught me this year was, which I think is also really eye-opening. It's that feelings are just vibrations in your body. And I would avoid having any uncomfortable conversation because I didn't wanna feel that. I didn't wanna feel that feeling of, you know, awkward or uncomfortableness when I think about the fact that it's just a vibration going through your body and you can, you can have that hard conversation and it's just gonna pass through you no matter the result. Right? I honestly try and focus on that every day of my life. 

Sarah: Hmm! Yeah, and when you let it vibrate through your body, you are just then able to get back to that place of calmness and clarity in your brain, and you've got your kind of, your brain's like back online and you can kind of be like, huh all right, what's next? 

Oh, so good. Okay. What are, let's, what are three words that come to mind when you think of our. the journey with the, the journey with coaching with me. What are three words? 

Adele: Oh, I feel grateful. Mm-hmm. 

I feel just an immense happiness inside my soul. And you know, honestly, I, I feel like there's not even no word for it, but I feel like I owe you, you'll forever have an imprint in my life. Mm-hmm. . And I truly feel like I would never want to go back to the Adele before coaching with you.

Hmm. I truly would never want that. And I think about, you know, I just think about. Women that are moms, or not moms, but you know, are, have gone through the journeys and they're, they're working and they're career driven and maybe they're type A like myself. Yeah. You know I think we can all benefit from your coaching.

Oh, Adele, thank you. It has been 

Sarah: such an honor. Thank you for those beautiful words. I mean, I think of myself. As the vessel that brings this wisdom to you and you picked up the wisdom and you did the work. So I'm just have been so honored to be on this journey with you and so grateful to be your coach and you're fucking incredible.

Like what you've done, how you've completely changed how you feel and how you show up at work with your marriage, with your kids, with your life. And I loved what you said at the start where you're like, before we started recording y'all, she's like, and the holidays are usually like frantic and crazy and all the things.

And it's usually like, "oh my God." And now it's like you're calm. 

Adele: Everything's okay. 

Sarah: Exactly, everything's gonna be okay. Once you know that, that sentence in your brain, the sentence of thought that you could put in your palm of your hand, how do I feel when I think that thought?

When I think that sentence and if you feel overwhelmed, stressed, whatever. It's not a useful thought. What feels believable that's gonna get you to calm and confidence and peace and ease again? It's that simple. 

Adele: Yep. Showing up for myself. Hmm. Showing up for myself. 

Sarah: Yeah. You learned that skill? Mm-hmm. . All right, girl.

Anything else you want to kind of close out with before we virtually hug each other from San Francisco to the Bahamas? 

Adele: Oh my gosh. I mean, honestly just the biggest hug, the biggest thank you. One, one year exactly. To the day rock bottom to feeling amazing. And I honestly, I'm so excited for the future and I would say if anyone out there is feeling some of those blues, contact Sarah.

Sarah: Thank you so much. I love you so much. I have so much respect and admiration for you, and as you know, I am right there with you every step of the way. Always. 

Adele: Thank you. Thank you so much! 

God, girl. 

Sarah: I love you so much. 

Adele: And me too. 

Sarah: All right, listeners. I'm gonna close out with you right now. 

Wishing you all an amazing 2023. I'll talk to you next week. Okay, bye. 

If you're loving what you're learning in the podcast, you have to come and check out the Rockstar Program. It's my coaching program where we take these neuroscience based cognitive tools and we use them daily to break through burnout so you can fall passionately in love with your life and your career again.

So join me over at SarahMoody.com/rockstarprogram I would love to have you join me. You can also follow me @sarahmoody on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram. I can't wait to see you

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