Ep 94: Greatest Hits: 90 Days | Calm + Confident with Cristina Batz
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
This week we're bringing back one of my favorite interviews from the year so far.
I had the opportunity to record this podcast with an incredible student of the Rockstar Program - Cristina Batz.
Listen to the show to learn how Cristina found coaching, why she chose the Rockstar program, and all of the growth she’s had in the past 90 days with our tools and thought work.
(Spoiler! Some growth includes self-love, compassion, having her own back, and being resilient AF!)
Again, it was such a delight to talk with Cristina about her past 90 days in the Rockstar Program and I’m in awe of all she’s accomplished!
If this episode inspired you, thank you for leaving a review on Apple Podcasts.
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Tag me @sarahlmoody
You got this, rockstar.
Sarah Moody: I love the fact that we're like started a podcast and we've been chatting before and here we are Christina. It's so great to have you on the podcast today.
Cristina Batz: So much for having me.
Sarah Moody: Oh my gosh. You're just an amazing rockstar in the rockstar program.
And. 90 days here we are. 90 days. Let's dive in. Let's share with our listeners and with our viewers just kind of what's happened to the last 90 days. Okay. Let's dive in and have a super fun conversation. We just start with, I don't know something like, w hy did you decide to start coaching? Tell us a little bit about the history, how you came to the rockstar program, how you came to find me and most importantly, why, why did you start coaching?
Cristina Batz: Yeah, absolutely. Really good questions. So I had been following, you know, some similar podcasts for maybe a year and a half and they were very mind altering for me. Um, my mind was already blown on just the possibilities and what I never knew was possible and, and the idea of Thought Work. So I, I'd also done some brain retraining programs in the past and had gotten a lot out of those.
And, I felt like I was at this place where I was listening a lot to the podcast, but I was not doing my own work. And I knew that I had gotten to this place that if I want to move to that next level, I need coaching because I'm kind of understanding some of those concepts, but I don't know how to personally apply them to my life in any situation.
So I was, last fall. I was in a meeting at work. Um, I work for a tech company and I was at a meeting at work and I got majorly triggered in the middle of this meeting, like so triggered. I felt like I was disassociating practically. And I was like, you know what? This is not okay. I need a coach.
I need a coach. Right? So, um, I, I started Googling, I think I went to the life coach school and was looking at different coaches. Um, and I saw. I think one of your ads or whatever it was that you, that you specifically focused on women in tech. And I was like, that is for me. Um, that's what I want. I'm a woman in tech and I knew that you would have that framework, um, uh, of working through the thoughts and the emotions and the actions, but also coming from that place of, I know what it's like to be in tech.
I know what it's like to be a woman. And, that was hugely important for me. That's why I came to you. That's a little bit about my history and it's been,
Sarah Moody: yeah, that's so awesome. Um, what specifically, I remember our first conversation, but I want you to share with our audience, what did you want to accomplish when you came?
To coaching. I know you want it to like, kind of manage your mind and meetings and at work, but anything else?
Cristina Batz: Well, I know that the first, so the first month that I joined the joined the cohort, we started talking about unthinkable goals. Um, and I don't know if this is what you're referring to, but this is the first time that I had actually intentionally set an unthinkable goal, uh, which is so funny.
Cause I'm pretty type a, I'm pretty driven, but I've always been very goal resistant and very like, I'm just going to drive hard and wherever that takes me, it takes me. So this was the first one that I actually sat down and said, I'm going to make a goal. And my goal was around money and I wanted to make a certain amount of money by the end of 2022.
And I sort of pulled this number out of the air, um, which is so funny.
Sarah Moody: Let me tell you something, I pulled my last year's number out of the air and I nailed it. I pulled 2022s number out of the air, and it's April and I've nailed it. It's it's okay. You could pull stuff out of the air and you put your brain to work and next thing you know, you fucking done it.
Cristina Batz: It's amazing. And I say that recently too, and it's. I just pulled my number out of the air to play on with this. But I did, it was something where I knew that I knew that it was achievable, but it was also a stretch. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So, so that was the number that I chose and I kind of got working on the thought, you know, my thoughts and my feelings and my actions around it.
And very, very quickly I had an opportunity before me that c ould have helped me kind of achieve that goal very, very quickly. Um, I've since then decided not to take that role. And I'm, I'm super happy for the reasons that I've chosen. And that's been part of my process with you the last couple of months, and I've actually loved that.
I feel more confident in where I'm at than even I was before. Um, but from a place of even greater understanding about what I want. So it's interesting. Like I think what I've learned in setting the goals is it's about the goal, but it's not about the goal.
Sarah Moody: Nope. It's about growing into the next version of yourself.
And the worst thing that's going to happen is a feeling. So let's talk about the one limiting the one big, huge shift you've made in your life. The big belief you dropped, right. Gone. And that you've really shifted this limiting belief and how much it's changed your life. Tell our audience about that.
Cristina Batz: Yeah. Yeah. So one thing that comes to mind, even in this journey of wanting to reach my unthinkable goal with making X amount of dollars, um, by the end of this year is I think in my mind, I thought that that was going to require me to work harder and longer. And because of that, I hadn't, I hadn't personally taken steps in the past towards achieving, making more money because I thought it was going to cost me everything.
I have a family, I have children, you know, I've got other things that I enjoy doing. And I, I felt like it was just at the end of the day gonna kill me or my whole life was going to be consumed with this. And I wouldn't know. Anything else to show for it except money. So, um, although money has always been important to me.
I just didn't feel like I could do both. I didn't think I could do both.
Sarah Moody: It was an either, or - not an and.
Cristina Batz: Exactly. It was an either or not a both. And, and although I'd seen women who had kids, who've done these things, but I didn't, you know, I thought either they just were lucky, or were at the right place at the right time, or or maybe they didn't really have work-life balance. Maybe there really were big sacrifices.
Sarah Moody: And whether it's your unthinkable goal or anything else. What I love about what you shared is the skill you've learned is how to feel your feelings. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about where you were, the limiting belief you had about that, because everything in life, whether it's an unthinkable goal that you talked about making more money work-life balance, like just showing up, feeling ease in life.
It's all about feeling your feelings. So share your journey around where you were 90 days ago. The belief about those pesky feelings and where you are now.
Cristina Batz: Oh my God. Just, this is, this is literally, my husband will thank you, Sarah. Like he wouldn't really think that I've started moving into feeling my feelings.
I think he, uh, has definitely thought that I've, I, you know, like to be more robotic and just keep a strong face. Um, but part of that for me, has to do with my history, my background. So when I was a teenager, um, I struggled with depression and anxiety and it really spiraled into a downward. You know, depression.
And since then, really I have, um, avoided negative feelings because I've been afraid that I won't be able to get out of them because when I was younger, I did not have the tools to come out of those feelings. Um, I even remember a few years ago, remember that movie Inside Out?
Sarah Moody: YES I love that cause these are feelings, this is great! I still don't know how to fucking you know feel them, but this is great.
Cristina Batz: You know, what's funny about that. There were parts of that movie that I loved in parts of that movie that I was really uncomfortable with. You know, why? Because they had positive feelings and negative feelings. So the feelings of sadness.
Yeah. I remember watching that movie and afterwards telling my husband, I hate that sadness person, like I actually hate her. You've got work to do though. I was like, I don't care. I hate her. maybe it was a him, I don't even remember. Like, um, but it so that was years ago. And now like the dots are starting to be connected for me.
Like, oh, this is why, um, I can feel my feelings and my feelings and my emotions are literally vibrations that are running through my body, like on a physiological level, they're running through my body and I can let them pass through. I don't have to stay there. They might come back. And that was always my fear.
Well, they're going to come back. Regain like a sense of control over my emotions, but I've learned to objectify that emotion, let it pass through my body and it's okay. Like even like a really hard emotion.
Sarah Moody: YES so good!
Cristina Batz: Oh my gosh. I would just avoid it with buffering or working harder or whatever. Uh, so I haven't mastered that skill yet, but I'm aware and I'm, I'm practicing it.
Sarah Moody: And all of this is a skill and. Our listeners, how that's helped you show up in terms of, you know, you talked about being more balanced and less afraid and compassionate to tell, tell us the, the result of being able to kind of watch that vibration go through your body.
Cristina Batz: Yeah, I think a lot of it has to do with, um, or I would say part of it for me is, is.
Moving into self-love and self-compassion. So I think before, if I'd feel a negative emotion, I'd push it down and then maybe even like beat myself up for feeling that way. So being able to objectify it, um, you know, looking at that emotion even outside of myself. Yeah. And then having compassion on myself and.
It's a form of self-love somehow. I don't know how it all comes together. It feels like I'm loving myself through being able to actually feel it instead of just pushing it away and pushing it away. I'm just going to continue cracking the whip on myself. So I think it's helped me move into self-love. I'm definitely a, self-awareness definitely a self compassion.
Um, and. Maybe a more balanced human being.
Sarah Moody: Yeah. Well, because you're letting the feelings kind of move through you. Right. And then you can get back to a place of calm versus resisting the feelings and fighting and feeling anxiety about them. Right. So when we let them vibrate through us, we just come back to a place of peace and calm and low.
Exactly. It's like what's happening is, w e're all humans and we all have feelings and emotions, right. And when we resist them, we're in essence, resisting ourselves. We're saying you're bad, you're wrong. You shouldn't feel this way. Your name, your shame, all that things. Versus like when we allow our bodies just to feel that feeling, it's just a vibration for 60 seconds through our body.
It is love because it's who we are. Like we're having that feelings. I'm going to love you sister, through the feelings of fucking heartache or sadness or loss
. And I got
Cristina Batz: ya. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. And it's temporary as well. It's not going to last forever. I remember the picture that you gave of, You're sitting in your car, you said you love cars, you're in your car.
You're in a red convertible and there's fear. Right. Um, and you said something like, you're going to put fear in the passenger seat next to you and you just say, Hey, fear, let's go for a ride. You know, I'm not just because you're here with me. Doesn't mean I'm stopping. Yes. but buckle your seatbelt
Sarah Moody: yes.
Right? Fear. Like I'm not afraid of fear. You're sitting right here with me. You're you're right next to me, it's only when fear like keeps you up at night, you know, shows up in all these negative ways in your life. But then you've got to look at fear and like, okay, how do I need to do more processing of fear, for example.
And what I love about the skill that you've learned, uh, feeling your feelings and really shifting that belief is that's how you can go after that unthinkable goal that we just started talking about, right. Of like making more money and blowing your mind in terms of how much money you make or work-life balance.
Because the worst thing that's ever going to happen is that you just have to feel one of those emotions. Yeah. And you're mastering that skill, like a total bad-ass. So that's that
Cristina Batz: instead of avoiding taking risk because of how I might feel, if I'm disappointed in what I was doing before Sarah is I was just doing thought swapping, which I didn't realize.
So I was bypassing the feeling I was identifying my thoughts and then. Quickly trying to create new thoughts. Okay. What's the thought that I want to feel without that middle step of feeling.
Sarah Moody: Yeah. So like give our audience an example you would go from what thought to what? Yeah.
Cristina Batz: So, um, okay. So I go from a thought like, um, the, all these people in the room are smarter than me, so let's say that was my thought.
And so out of that, I would feel, um, insecure. Yeah. Okay. Um, so then I wouldn't feel that feeling of insecurity. I would sort of resist it, but then I would be like go immediately to, um, instead of everybody else in this room is smarter than me. I'd go to we're all equals, which is good. That's what I would switch, but I didn't take that middle step.
Sarah Moody: You didn't feel it didn't feel believable. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Okay. So feeling your feelings, huge skill that you've learned really impacting all different parts of your life. We talked about your unthinkable goal. Talk about other, you know, like you now believe you can, you know, make the money that you want to make.
Talk about other kind of results that you've experienced now that you have this skill of feeling your feelings and kind of how it's impacting your life.
Cristina Batz: Yeah, I think that, like, it's really interesting because, and I've heard it said before, but I had to just hadn't practiced it. I'd heard, you know, on podcasts, if you're willing to feel any feeling, um, then, you know, sort of the fear of feeling is removed and you're maybe willing to take more risks or go after your dreams.
Um, cause you're not afraid of disappointment. If you feel disappointed. You know, you feel disappointment, it's just a vibration, you know? Um, so I think I, it's interesting. I think I have, I think there's more of a resilience and the risk taking number one, but then I'm also this place of knowing what I really want, because I'm more in touch with my emotions.
It's interesting as I've been doing the thought work and the work of feeling my feelings, you know, I had an opportunity that came before me and I was able to like clearly think through this opportunity, um, because I didn't resist my feelings around it in the past. What I probably would have done is take the opportunity, even though it wasn't the best thing for.
Either because of fear of missing out or you're disappointing people. But when I was able to sit down and do my thought downloads every day and feel my feelings, I was able to like, clearly. Make a decision, um, felt like served me.
Sarah Moody: It's like your reason exactly exact your back. And it was a big decision, huge decision.
It was a really big decision, a life changing decision,
Cristina Batz: a life changing decision. And I'm so confident and happy with the decision that I made, but I used the framework to work through that. And I just have to say this in case we don't get to this. So one of my favorite tools that you taught us in the cohort is, is mapping out best case and worst case scenarios.
When we're dealing with uncertainty. Huge for me, Typically an uncertainty, you know, we just, we just kind of lock up and then maybe a void or we overwork whatever it is. Um, but I was able to clearly map out in this particular situation with my job, what is the best case scenario? And I did, I did, you know, my thought framework around those and I felt the feelings .
So by the time, you know, the offer came to me, I had already felt all the feelings around it. I had already chosen how I was going to think and feel. No matter what the outcome was. And it was amazing. It was amazing because at the end of the day, you know what I discovered, I'd be happy either way.
Sarah Moody: Yeah, exactly.
Because happiness is available to every single one of us right now, because where does happy? Where does the feeling, what does the feeling come from? Yeah, exactly.
Cristina Batz: Exactly. So I determined ahead of time. I will be happy either way so I can look at these two things right now and actually just objectively know what I want and what I don't want.
I'm not thinking that this is going to make me any happier. It's certainly isn't this also isn't it's life is 50 50, like we've talked about. And, um, literally, uh, I'll be happy either way, but I'm going with this option. And I like my reason for it.
Sarah Moody: So great. I remember when we did that work in February around uncertainty, nothing, certain everything is fucking uncertain in life.
So when you do this work around the worst case, the best case scenario, you feel other feelings you're like, I got, I remember when we started this work, I was like, I want at the end of the month that we all as a cohort, have a belief uncertainty's my favorite thing. Yeah, right. Is uncertainty your favorite thing, Christina.
Cristina Batz: I mean, I can't say on there I'm getting there, but I would just say, like to circle back around that really quickly, that is why I got coaching. Th that is not something that I could have worked out, just listening to a podcast. Like I needed those tools to actually walk me through my own thoughts in the midst of uncertainty, in the midst of, you know, decisions to be made and all of my thought drama around it, et cetera, et cetera.
Sarah Moody: So, yeah. Um, since you and I sitting on the couch, as I like to describe our little zoom sessions next to each other, looking at a screen of your thoughts, thinking. What serving us in this uncertain scenario at work right now? What's not. Yeah. All right. Do you have a favorite part of the rockstar program I've looked at like being in our cohort with all these other bad-ass women?
Cristina Batz: Yeah. You know, I love this group of women. I think my favorite part is that it's this really cool mix of, I feel like Sarah, high support and high challenge. Yeah. So I definitely feel like it's a culture and environment of unconditional love, nonjudgmental. Like we bring all of our stuff. Right. Um, but we don't let each other stay there.
Right. Yes. There's also this high challenging environment where we, we know we signed up for this because we want to move forward in whatever area of our life. And, um, it's the, I feel like it's the perfect, um, kind of, uh, greenhouse for growth, high support, high challenge. And that's what I love about it.
You can have high challenge and that, you know, without high support and I, I just don't think we'd get to where we want to be as quickly. So.
Sarah Moody: We're all going places. Every single one of us in our cohort. I love that. Okay. Talk about just some big shifts you've experienced in your life through coaching, maybe one or maybe two.
Cristina Batz: Oh my goodness. Well, okay. So we've talked about learning how to feel my feelings. Um, we've talked about, uh, Kind of me no longer thinking that I have to work extra hours or extra time to make more money. Um, I think in addition to that
big shifts being, gosh, there's so many of them. Okay. We've I feel like we've hit on a lot of subjects, but I'm going to say this one again because it's worth repeating, um, having my back. When I make a decision, I think in the past I would have so much self doubt after making a decision and I would flip flop back and forth.
Um, but because I have the ability to feel my feelings, to process it through like a thought framework and then to make a decision after I've done that. To like my reasons and like my decision, but have my back for it. Like, I literally work on this decision and I'm gonna have my back. Other people don't have to have my, like, regardless of whether I have, if I have any other advocates out there on my behalf, I can be an advocate for me.
Right. And that's enough because if we're depending on everybody else to, you know, to validate us all the time, it's just going to be.
Sarah Moody: And that's so much of what I love about our work is that it's all about, well, what do I believe? What do I feel? What do I want? And do I like my reasons and never shit talking ourselves because we can always make another fucking decision and like our reasons and have our back.
That is a skill that is so powerful. And so life-changing because however, we, how do we move our life forward decisions? And making decisions is really fucking hard if you don't have our tools. Yeah.
Cristina Batz: And you know what, that, you know, what that comes down to really quickly permission. I don't know that I ever felt permission to have my back before.
Not that anybody had to give me permission, but now I realized I can give myself permission. Yeah. You know, which is a bizarre, you know, but like I can give myself permission, like I have permission to have my own back and that's okay.
Sarah Moody: Totally. You have permission to do whatever the fuck you want to do with your life.
Yeah. So what goals and dreams are you pursuing now that you never thought were possible? Does it your pardon? Yeah.
Cristina Batz: Yeah. I mean, I would go back to the, to, to, to the money thing, making more money. I, when I started listening to podcasts, Something opened up for me that I didn't realize was possible. I remember this one I was listening to and the person who was, who was speaking on this podcast was like, you know, if I'm talking to you, you're one of those weirdos out there.
Right. I was like, yes. Yes, exactly. Right. But I think like, I think going through coaching has just reinforced it and I see people who are doing it and I'm actually able to see the tools now and how to get where I want the thought, you know, the thought works. So I think, um, even more so I feel confident about making more money, increase my income.
Sarah Moody: I love that. Tell, tell our listeners why we always about that. Always about the why people. Remember when we make more money, I'm going to make twice as much money this year. I'm not going to be happier. We're not going to be fucking happier. So let's always talk about the why.
Cristina Batz: Yeah. Yeah. And when I was setting my unthinkable goal,
I wrote, I wrote down those whys and the first one was because it's fun. Like I literally enjoy it, that it never occurred to me before. And that is okay. It is okay. That, that is one of my reasons that it's literally. Fun fun
Sarah Moody: is cause you've got to put your brain to work, to put your brain to work and think creatively and put value in the world.
How fucking amazing is that? Yeah, in one, yeah,
Cristina Batz: fun was one of them. The other one was options. Like I love having options and the two are sort of tied together, but for me, that is, it's a great feeling to know that I have options before me. And so that's a big, big one. I want options. Yeah, I want options in life and money can help with that.
Sarah Moody: Christina, I love that you're all about the goal and dream of making more money without working longer hours and harder. What's the belief you're practicing daily to create this reality.
Cristina Batz: Yeah, super good. So the belief that I'm practicing daily to create this and make this a reality is that I am creating value and bringing value every day, all around me, whatever, whatever I'm doing, I'm creating value and people will pay me for that.
Right. So people will pay me for the value that I create and bring to their lives. And that's the key. I'm seeking evidence for that every day. I see it all around me and that's, that's kind of how it's moving me forward.
Sarah Moody: I love that. So you're practicing that belief every day and then you're going and finding evidence and writing it down every day and you're feeling.
How it feels believable in your body.
Cristina Batz: Absolutely. Absolutely. Because that is so believable and I know it to be true. I know that's true. And I believe that for every one of us, for all of us, like we are so uniquely made and we bring value to people all around us and people will pay us for that. Cause they need that in us.
Sarah Moody: Exactly. We're all these unique, incredible beings. And we spend so much time. Thinking, well, I should be like that person or that person, or why aren't I doing it like that person? It's like, no, like stop the compare game. Like exactly. Where, where am I bringing value? I love that.
Cristina Batz: Yes. Yeah.
And I think it raw, it robs us in some ways when we're looking to bring what somebody else is bringing like right.
Who I am. Here's my, here's my chunk of gold. Would you like a piece of it? And you do give me something in return, but it's like this very, very mutual and equal exchange. That's mutually beneficial.
Sarah Moody: Awesome. Thank you for that.
And whether it's money, work-life balance, loving hobbies and not feeling you have to be productive about them. Loving your connection with your family, friends, all of it. It all comes back to really, anything is possible, right? When you feel your feelings, you look at your beliefs, you shift belief.
You're an incredible woman. I am just so honored to be on this journey with you as your coach and guide and advisor, you roll up your sleeves, you do the work. I love you so much. And we're 90 days in and we're just getting fucking started and
Cristina Batz: it's just the beginning. I'm so happy to be with you for all that you've done. It's a great group. Great materials. And let's see what else we can do.
Sarah Moody: Exactly. All right. I love you. Have a beautiful rest of your day, sweetheart. Okay, bye.
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