Ep 98: Break Through Burnout Part 4 | "I'm Falling Behind" Accelerates It
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
Today's podcast episode is #MONEY!
It's about how to blast through burnout and the feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, and exhaustion.
This is part 4, if you haven't listened to part 1-3 yet, I highly recommend listening to those ones first and then coming back to this one as we wrap up the "Break Through Burnout," series.
We will dive into what ACTUALLY happens when we're at work and we think: "I'm falling behind"
We think "I'm falling behind" is a fact that would stand up in a court of law in front a judge. News Flash - it's not.
We think this thought is harmless. But again, it's not.
Plus! Some of you will learn a new word that is very British of me to say:-)
Tune in and enjoy another proven cognitive tool you can use daily to have work life balance- - - so you can have a magical f*ing live you LOVE!
Learn more about The Rockstar Program: https://lnkd.in/gRD9gXB7
If this episode inspired you, thank you for leaving a review on Apple Podcasts.
You can also comment on this podcast's Instagram post or take a screenshot of you listening and post it to your Instagram stories, LinkedIn, or Twitter. Tag me @sarahlmoody.
You got this, rockstar.
Maren Hurley-Matz: [00:00:00] Welcome to Rock Your Brain. Rock Your Life. If you're a woman in tech, who's tired of feeling like you're not enough. Not smart enough, not fit enough, not productive enough. Then this is the podcast for you. You'll learn the cognitive tools and proven playbooks you need to take your confidence from zero to 100, it's time to break up with not enough for good. Here's your host certified coach and tech entrepreneur: Sarah Moody.
Sarah Moody: Okay. Rock stars. I am so excited to talk to you today about park four of the breakthrough burnout series. And this is all about the thoughts that we have at work. When we think we're falling behind. So if we think we're falling behind, here's a [00:01:00] news flash, that's going to accelerate burnout. So thank you so much for all of you who leave reviews on the podcast.
It's so amazing to read them and know that these tools are helping you break through burnout and just build a life that you love, with balance between work and life. And If you are getting value out of the podcast and you haven't written a review, thank you so much for just hopping onto apple on podcasts and just taking two minutes and writing a review as it totally helps others who are totally struggling with burnout and feeling fried and overwhelmed, and just that life sucks.
It, these tools really help all of us kind of break through burnout. I did a cognitive workshop for Google a couple weeks ago around how to break through burnout and feel magical at work again. And there was a theme around, you know, I'm falling behind, there's of course, lots of work coming at us.
Everyone's scared, you know, like everyone's [00:02:00] kind of got open racks, you know, there's lots of job openings. And so there's still the same amount of work. With maybe fewer people. And so this thought of I'm falling behind, was really prevalent. And so whether it's exactly it's, you know, you're behind a couple folks on the team and you're feeling behind, or you're starting a new job at a new company, or you have a new role at your existing company.
Maybe you're experiencing some thoughts and some beliefs that you're falling behind. I know there's a lot of people that are out sick right now with COVID. So you're out sick for a week and you start believing that you're falling behind, or you have to take a leave to take care of loved ones or you're out because your kids don't have school or care.
So there's lots of reasons for this belief at work that you're falling behind. And when you think I'm falling behind, how do you feel? Let me guess disappointed in yourself that you're falling behind, right? You start judging yourself, stress that you're falling [00:03:00] behind. And then your brain starts just ruminating on the thought that you're falling behind and you actually start really believing that you're falling behind and then your brain, this is the beauty of the brain, but also the shit of the brain.
It's an interpreting machine brains, like interpreting. Everything around us. Right? Like you look at that black sweater and you're like, your brain's like, oh, I like that black sweater, everything you look at, your brain has a story or a thought about, so your brain is gonna wanna, you know, because it's an interpreting machine it's then gonna wanna explain and clarify to your brain yourself what that means.
What does falling behind means? And your brain is hardwired. This is neuroscience 1 0 1 to go to the worst place. So your brain's like, oh shit. Hello, this is Dyer. I'm a high performer Dyer, by the way, it's like British for this is bad. I'm a high [00:04:00] performer. So if I'm falling behind, that means I'm disappointing.
My boss I'm disappointing my team. And then you start feeling terrified, right? You might even show up a little defensive at work. Your brain interprets. I'm falling behind to mean. You're probably not gonna get that promotion or there's some big risk to you getting that promotion because you're falling behind, I'm falling behind your brain.
Makes that mean, you know, you start worrying about what your colleagues think about you. Like maybe they're mad at you and they think you kind of suck because you know, you're not pulling your weight on the team, right? So your brain interprets, I'm falling behind to mean all kinds of terrible things. And then what happens next?
You know, I understand I'm a high performer as well. So I understand that you wanna protect that identity as this quote, high performer and your brain is saying red alert. This is not making you [00:05:00] look like a high performer. It's making you look like a slacker or worse yet, like everyone else. Right? Because us high performers are like, listen, I'm wearing this high performer as like it's a badge of honor.
Right? I'm a high perform. So your brain starts making, I'm falling behind mean all kinds of terrible things. And then what your brain does is it goes into cuz I see this with all of my students, it goes into some, level of all or nothing thinking black and white thinking. It's either one way or it's the other, remember gray is very difficult for the brain.
Gray is like. Asking your, you know, if you're a woman like me, I mean, I, I probably like can lift a 25 pound weight. So it's like asking your brain to lift. So you asking your brain to not be black and white is like asking your body or your arm to like pick up a 50 pound weight. It's gonna be difficult.
But when you live in [00:06:00] all or nothing thinking, you think I've gotta get more. Done. I've gotta get it all done. I'm gonna have to work long days. I'm gonna have to work weekends. There's gonna not be enough. I'm gonna have to skip exercising, right. And forget taking any time for me, quality to time with friends loved ones, right?
It's all enough in thinking like I gotta go. I gotta hit the gas pedal hard and get it all done all in capital letters, by the way. And then you start feeling disappointed in yourself and some shame and shame is always gonna ride shotgun with perfectionism. So anytime you feel shame and shitty in your body, like you start judging yourself and feeling disappointed, you're gonna wanna move to perfectionism.
Right. So you're gonna start getting stressed about getting it all right. And you know, I gotta do some long hours. I can't stop thinking about work. I'm checking slack while you're bathing your kids, all the things. Right. So when you're in that [00:07:00] space of like, long hours, you know, can't stop thinking about work, always checking slack, you know, not seeing your friends and family you're burnt out as fuck, right?
Like that's how the thought I'm falling behind creates the feeling of disappointed and stress. And then you do all those things and then you're burnt out. what I'm gonna offer you today is. What's happening for you right now. So remember I'm falling behind is just a sentence in your brain. Okay.
Think, think it's just words. It's letters. I M F A L L I N G B E H I N D. It's just a bunch of letters. Okay. So what I'm gonna offer you today is what's happening is you're not loving all of yourself and really owning your brilliance. Your superpowers, your brain right now is not seeing that you're doing enough right now that it's okay.
That you started a new job at a new company or a new role at your existing company. And you've gotta get up to [00:08:00] speed, right? It's okay. To take some time to get up to speed, like love yourself through that. It's okay. That you are out for five days because you had COVID or something else or your kids were sick.
It's okay. It's okay. That you had to take that lead to take care of loved ones and you were out for two weeks, right? So you're not loving all of yourself and owning your superpowers and your brilliance and seeing that you're doing enough right now. when I think of brilliance, I think of like, you know, Your exceptional talents, your superpowers, like what you excel at.
So for example, for me, I always remind myself, my brilliance is coaching high performers in corporate America in a workshop or a one-on-one setting. It's standing up in front of crowds and helping all humans see three things. Number one how their thoughts create the reality, right? The thought of I'm falling behind creates the reality of burnout.
I just walked you through how that whole [00:09:00] thing works. Number two, teaching humans, how to love themselves deeply passionately, and allow themselves to identify their brilliance, their superpowers, the magical jewels that exist inside of them. Right now, nothing needs to change. And then number three, my superpower, my brilliance is creating a big fucking life that I love.
And I teach that to all of my students operation live the dream as one of my students loves to call it that I love. So that thought I'm falling behind creates feelings of stress. Right. Create created the long days, lots of overwhelm breaking up dates with loved ones, cutting back on sleep. Right? Those are all the actions that you do when you feel stressed.
And what you're not doing is reminding yourself of your brilliance and you' superpowers. Okay. So when you [00:10:00] notice the feelings of stress and disappointment, when your brain thinks. I'm falling behind. Remember that thought is just a sentence in your brain. It is letters. I really want you to think about this.
It is letters, right? That's it. And so it's neutral. and remember, as I probably talk about every week, most thoughts are a hundred percent useless in your brain. Okay. So when you notice your brain thinking I'm falling behind and you're starting to feel stressed and disappointed in yourself, take five minutes and put your brain to work and do three things.
Number one, take a deep breath in your body and write down your superpowers, your brilliance, all the ways you're killing it. I want you to hunt for hashtag i'm enough. I'm doing fucking enough and I'm great in these areas at work. Number one, number two, I want you to [00:11:00] close your eyes and drop into the feeling of peace and calm in your body.
Really visualize and feel from a felt sense, peace and calm in your body. Turn your brain off for two minutes. Okay. And then number three is I want you to tell your brain, Hey, listen, brain. I have radical trust in myself, and then I want you to visualize your future self. And remember your future self is you in one minute from now five minutes from now, one year from now, five years from now, whatever you get to choose and use that visualization of you, maybe it's you at the end of the day.
The end of the work day, use that visualization of you calm as, and, and peaceful and proud of yourself to pull yourself forward. Right. use that visually to pull yourself forward to that space of feeling peace and calm in your body and radically trusting that you've [00:12:00] got fucking amazing superpowers.
And you're enough. And then I want you to use my bridging thoughts tool, which is podcast episode 17. It's. My students top three favorite tools and say something to your brain along the lines of I'm open to believing. I can prioritize the P ones and get them done at a level that I'm okay with. And I'm not gonna rob myself of time outside of work with my loved ones, exercising, sleeping, and having a magical life.
You. If my brain believes that I must deliver everything at an A level, like I don't need to deliver everything at an A level. Like for me, B minus work is enough. So talk to your brain with a, with a bridging thought. Okay. Alright team. You've got this. So remember the thought of I'm falling behind only accelerates burnout.
It only adds lighter fluid to the bonfire. So [00:13:00] don't add any lighter fluid. Okay. Just be open to believing that you're not falling behind. You've got all the magical superpowers you need. You are enough. It's okay. If you weren't at work for a week, it's okay. If you just give yourself a little bit more time to get up to speed in your new role at a new company or a new role at your existing company.
Because you're already a high performer and you're already outside of work more than enough. You're incredible. You're amazing. So feel that in your body and own it, cellularly in your body. Feel that right now. Okay. All right. And so this episode is all a part of the breakthrough burnout series. So if you wanna start at part one, Which is episode number 95, that gives you the tools about how to break through burnout, the fundamental tools. [00:14:00] And then the next episode is part two. And that's how to say no at work and still be trusted and respected and admired and not thought of as a problem team member.
Part three is how to break through burnout and create magical work life balance have magical work life balance. And here we are at part four. I love you all have a beautiful rest of your day and I'll talk to you next week.
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